How sad it must be to be you.....you know who you are....you who seems to have an unfilling emptiness....an unquenching desire to always feel as if you are number 1 to everyone....an unsatisfied desire to feel beautiful.
How sad it must be to be you.....you who must constantly try to fill a void with a barrage of self affirmations for lack of outside compliments....you who surrounds yourself by people who will further the idea that all you do is right.....you who cannot live the spirituality you claim for your own but are to weak to admit your own hypocrisy.
How sad it must be to be you.....you who has to fill your life with the negativity of bringing others down to raise your own self esteem to a level you can live with....you who would prefer to look the part of a happy loving person rather than actually live it....you who will let people and their actions dictate who you will associate with or show interest in.....you who is more concerned with "pretty" than with truth...fairness...love....family....faith....or forgiveness.
How sad it must be to be you.....you who would wish life altering heartache on people so you could be first.....you who can say one thing and live another....you who can use words that are foreign to you as if you created them....you who can claim to live a life and put up a farce of such living just to act and project the opposite.
How sad it must be to be you.....you who seems to never keep loved ones and yet has a hundred reasons why they leave none of which fault you....you who chooses to fulfill some unknown emptiness with a rash of money spending rather than finding a love that can fulfill it....you who lies expertly, and condemns the liar....as long as the condemned is not you.....you who will get caught in a lie and never admit to any wrong doing, but will insist the wrong is admitted to you if you feel it has been done to you.
How sad it must be to be you.....to know one day you will be alone and all the burnt bridges and harsh words and lost chances for forgiveness will be gone and all that will be left is you....beautiful....broken.....alone....still searching for that one love or friend or family member that can make it all complete....only to find they have all gone....the "pretty" ran out for them the inside ugly truth had shown itself too many times.
How sad it must be to be you.....you who I used to be jealous of and strive to be like....you who I wished I could emulate.....you who I wished I could be as talented as or as pretty as or as organized as or as blessed as or as spiritual as.....you who was just a facade a fake a "false front" a wanna be a for appearance sake only kind of person.....you who I once looked up to and admired you who I once made so important in my life....you who I once considered a friend....you who I once felt such anger and resentment towards....you who I once considered back stabbing and two faced and cowardly..... you who I once believed had the power to sabotage my happy ending.
How sad it must be to be you.....you who I now see is just as lost and broken as the rest of us....you who I feel bad for because I have had love and friendship of the truest kind....you who may never feel truly beautiful on the inside as a person, as I have been blessed enough to feel most of my life especially now....you who will never truly feel the absolute feeling of "free" total forgiveness gives....you who I will no longer feel anger or hate or disgust for....you who has replaced all those feelings with pity and sadness....you will miss so much....you have taught me who I don't want to be....you who I say thank you to.....you who I wish nothing but the best....you who will live a cold and lonely existence with no idea of how true warmth feels....you who will no longer hold more than a passing moment in my thoughts....you who I now let go of....you who will no longer hold any power over me....you who will never make me doubt myself again....you who are no friend of mine....you who I will feel only indifference for......you who I will never be....you who I choose to be different than.....you who are not ME!
How sad it must be to be you.....you who will always choose "pretty" over "real".....you who will see this blog entry as fuel on the fire....you who will never realize this is closure....you who will always wonder.....you who will one day miss and wish you could call me up and just talk.....you who are so sad.
How sad it must be to be you.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
How sad it must be to be you.....
Posted by MoMo sprnany at 12:03 PM
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4 comments:
Are you talking about this husband, T or yourself????? All of which you speak of in various ways. Or . . . maybe an ex-lover? husband, playmate? confused here!?!? I am glad you have found closure here on the Worldwide Web! This is the part that is confusing to me. You say this is closure, and you feel that this person you are talking to craves attention. Hmmmmm. Seems to ring out the same in your latest blog entry that you too crave attention from the masses! Closure, or one more post to gain some self assurance of your position??!!
I have been following this blog for sometime, as it fits in my interest catagories of humor and entertainment quite nicely.
Forgiveness you speak of, talk about hypocrisy! Girl you own it!
Felt sorry for you that no one ever comments on your blog.
Just to clear some things up who I'm talking about is none of your business....Hell yeah, I crave attention what self respecting beautiful intelligent woman doesn't....how you crave it is what seperates the women from the girls I choose to seach it out in positive ways, such as sharing my insights with people who want to know what I think...not because it amuses or entertains them or because they don't have any other way to keep up with me, but because they want to know what's in my head and where my inner thoughts are these days. As for my position...now I'm confused do you mean in life or on a blog....'cuse I didn't realize there could be positions on a blog and as for my life you really shouldn't talk about things you know nothing about....such as my life....whoever you are. As for my hypocrisy about forgiveness...once again you should not comment on things you know nothing about who, when, or how I forgive are all things you know nothing about. As for the closure comment I made, how I deal with my own emotions and my own life happenings are once again nothing you know anything about so who are you to be informing me what closure is....as it is differently defined by each person in their own right. Now I will admit I think I do know who this is and the fact that this particular blog out of so many (as you have said you follow my blog) would cause such and uproar and elevation in emotion in you that you just had to leave a comment, is interesting to me....did I perhaps hit a nerve....get to close to home....or is just that the truth hurts? If this is who I assume it must be I wish you well and nothing but the best, and I hope you to can find closure in some way of your own. Oh and about the no comments on my blog....people who read my blog to keep up with me comment to me on my myspace...which I assume you don't visit or you would know that...and in person. The people I spend enough time with to want to know what's in my head tend to keep in touch so much they don't have to leave a comment in hopes I will find sometime. Thank ronda for the heads up on the comment!
Oh no. You weren't talking about me so no cord struck there. However, I certainly struck yours. You are so very full of yourself. Apparently you weren't that upset about my comment. Inviting me to be your friend on my space! I am so very excited!Afterall, you are and have been private there for sometime. If you would like, I could be a friend on myspace, but you have been private there for sometime now. You don't sound so self assurred. That inner beauty you speak of isn't evident here. Intelligence isn't ringing out either. Maybe you should make this blog private too if you can't handle the comments. If you crave attention here on the world wide web, then you don't have near as much with your friends and hubby as you think you do. Yes, Ronda, thanks for the heads up for Ms. Monica. She appreciated it very much.
Rite, Thanks again for the comments and all the attention. Have a wonderful day and Blessed be. Be well!
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