Finally....the rest of the story!

I have been eagerly awaiting the posting of this blog for literally months now. Some of you have e-mailed or facebooked me wondering what the deal is with Mr. Right adopting mini-me, so here goes the whole lengthy story. For those of you that have heard it all you may just want to skip this blog entry!

So it all started a in early October....it may have been September, I didn't write down the dates of such events, and I'm horrible with time, so if the time's don't match up please forgive me. Any way sometime in Sept. or Oct. mini-me came home from her....hmmm we'll call him "Bozo" so she came home from Bozo's very upset. She was crying and I was irate....this was not the first time this had happened....as the universe would have it, this would be the Last time this happened. After calming her down and alerting Mr. Right we had a problem we sat and talked with her. She was not immediately forthcoming, she was scared Bozo would get in trouble if she told what had happened, so when the story came out this is what happened. Mini-me went to Bozo's house for the evening as usual she hadn't been staying the night with him during the week for quite awhile due to a new job he had, she was just going there after school and then coming home after dinner. Apparently this particular evening Bozo decided to make mini-me sit by herself at the kitchen table to eat her dinner while the rest of his "new family" and himself all ate in the living room together. Mini-me was mortified. Any one who knows her knows she is a very sensitive little person, therefore it reason's this would upset her.

As we were talking to her she used "feeling" words I had never heard her use. I began to wonder where she had picked them up. She said things like, I feel like I don't belong there, like I'm not wanted, like I'm in the way, like I'm not part of the family. I being the mom I am was infuriated, thanks to my amazing Mr. Right however, I did not have the explosive blowout with Bozo I am famous for. We called him and asked him to stop by after we put mini-me to bed. He said she was doing her homework at the table so he just told her to stay there and eat, he did not mean to make her feel "left out". I explained that he had made her feel that way, he then said perhaps she shouldn't come to his house in the evenings anymore. We agreed. Fast forward a couple of weeks to Halloween, it was Bozo's year to take her around for the annual "candy gathering" Mr. Right and I got her all ready make-up and all (She was Cleopatra) and had her ready to go when Bozo got here. We decided since they would be gone for awhile we would go have some dinner and then meet them back at the house. I texted Bozo and let him know where we were eating in case he needed to get a hold of us for some reason, thinking to myself the whole time, they won't be back until after dark. After all there is the walking to all the businesses downtown and then the knocking on doors after. So Mr. Right and I headed to dinner. No less than 30mins after we had watched Bozo and mini-me walk off towards downtown did he show up at the restaurant we were having dinner at. He dropped of mini-me and drove off....no reason why, no asking if he could take her around to other houses....he didn't even wait to make sure she found us in the restaurant. Again I was infuriated, here was the opportunity to spend some time with his child alone, just the two of them to catch up and mend some fences. Yet in less than an hour he had done what he says was his "fatherly duty" and was off to his "new family". Mini-me was again very upset...she said she had asked him to take her to some houses and to the park, all he said was "ask your mom to take you". Mr. Right and I decided it was more important for us to make sure our mini-me had a wonderful night than to fight about the pathetic choices Bozo made. So we took our girl around to some houses and to the park. In the park she found some friends to run around with while we were, talking with some friends of ours, after all small town Halloween night you tend to run into a lot of people you know and haven't seen in awhile. So when the night was over and mini-me had been properly de-cleopatraed...I know it's not a word...but it's the action! lol We all settled down and watched a movie till she fell asleep and then Mr. Right and I had a long talk, we decided I could no longer try to tell Bozo how to be a father, I had been giving him clues, and more than once Mr. Right and I had given him the tools to attempt to be a better father, obviously all to no avail. So we agreed I wouldn't even talk to him about it.

I believe it was about two weeks later when the letter arrived. There was a knock on the door, I answered it, it was the mail person, I thought it was one of my scrap winnings packages...alas that would have been a pleasant experience. No this was a certified letter, from Bozo saying simply "I have talked to a lawyer who says to give up all my rights as a father you have to file adoption papers and I will sign them. Do not call or text me, I will not answer." Needless to say I was in shock. My first thought was how exactly does someone call themselves a father for 10 yrs and then wake up one day and decide they don't want to be one anymore? How does one just walk away from a child as if it's a dog they are giving away? I won't get into what I was feeling or the words I was yelling as I walked around the house trying to find something to distract my mind with. Later that evening I showed the letter to Mr. Right and we got a chance to discuss it after mini-me went to bed. It was decided at that point I would call our lawyer and get his advice. I did so the next day...of course it was a few days before he got back to me. Once he did he explained we basically had two choices, Mr. Right could adopt her, or I could go to court argue and slam Bozo with a huge child support payment every month...each choice had it's own pros and con's...after all I didn't know if Mr. Right wanted to adopt mini-me...we had never discussed it, he was as much a dad as he could be he knew what she was doing in school knew her teacher's knew her friends paid for her and carried insurance on her for the last two years...as far as the definition of dad he fit it so much more than Bozo did, but adoption is a whole different ball game. On the other hand if Bozo had to pay child support mini-me would be forced to continue seeing him and being at his house. Which she had expressed during the talk about the dinner incident she no longer wanted to do.

Now we all know I live and breath for my family, my mini-me is my breath of life and my Mr. Right is my heart, so I am slightly ashamed to admit, I was a bit scared to talk to him that evening about what the lawyer had said. I won't go into detail here about our conversation, I will say we decided it was ultimately mini-me's choice. I am not a fan of leaving huge life altering decisions to young children, however this was a situation where I just could not in good conscience make this choice with out knowing how she felt. So we showed her the letter, and told her what it meant and explained to her the choices and then told her she didn't have to choose what to do now she could think about it for awhile, we explained once she made the choice she couldn't change her mind. We explained the details of what each choice would mean in the long run and immediately. She took no time at all and through her tear stained face and red puffy eyes said clearly "I want BigDaddy to adopt me" I didn't want to get to excited after all when she looked at Mr. Right I knew he could always say no. Of course that was not his response, his response was something like "I would love to."

It took a lot longer to get all the paperwork and things together than we had hoped. We were hoping to have it all done in court before the first of the year. However as I said it took a bit longer. There were many conversations and questions from mini-me in the weeks preceding the proceedings, she had questions about Bozo, and BigDaddy. She was always very excited that her name would be changed and her name would match ours. The closer the actual date got, the more nervous I got, the more excited she became...needless to say it did this mother's heart good to know she was not only wanting this change, but that she was eager for it. She began to write her "new" last name on her school papers in Jan. It was adorable when I asked her why she was writing it she said "she was practicing and getting everyone else used to it." The weekend before we went to court she had a sleepover. I had purchased a few different iron-on's and a t-shirt for each girl so they could make their own shirts...mini-me made the cutest shirt just a Celtic cross on the front and on the back "Miss Turner" it really made me smile...and I dare say it made Mr. Right pretty happy as well.

Finally it was the big day! We got up early and got ready we went to Wellington and had breakfast...which was really good though I don't know if I tasted much of it. Then off to the courthouse to do the deed. We went into the courtroom and I sat on the first bench behind the lawyers tables. Mini-me and Mr. Right and the lawyer sat at the tables, the judge spoke to mini-me asked her what grade she was in and if she was excited, she spoke to him though it was at a bit lower volume level than normal. Mr. Right was asked to take the stand and about 5 mins later the judge and the court reporter were saying congratulations! I would have cried, but the looks on Mr. Right and mini-me's face was of elation and all I could feel was happy...I took a couple of photo's of the two of them in the hallway while we were waiting for copies of the decree.

Later that night after Mr. Right was unexpectedly called away to help a friend in need. I was putting mini-me to bed, she said "Mom I'm really tired tonight" I replied "I bet you are it's not everyday a girl gets a dad" She smiled really big and said "I got the best dad to" fighting back a tear and a heart so full it had to weigh a thousand pounds I said "Yes you did princess, yes you did" then I told her again I love you night night, walked into the hall closing the door behind me and taking a deep breath....all the feelings I had been feeling over everything in last few months blew away with that breath...a sense of peace and calm came over me I sent a huge thank you out to the universe.

So this is how it all happened, this is how mini-me became a Turner. This is how our once blended family became just a family. This is how a mother got just for a second the luxury of knowing her child was okay. This is how a man got a second chance at being a father. This is how the Turner family became one. This is just one more chapter in what I'm sure will be the great American novel that is our life...Our Family!

I just want to end this blog by saying some of our friends and family knew all along what was going on. Some of them know more of the horrible way mini-me was treated by Bozo, please don't misunderstand I am not letting any of it slide by...I just chose to "focus on the joy of the situation". To those friends and family I must send out a huge thank you! We can never tell you all how much your support and love and kindness has meant to us! We love all of you!

Until next time Be well!