The last day.

It's the last day of school and while I don't get upset and cry about it, I do get somewhat sentimental and mushy. The last day that means another year has gone by. That means Summer is here, it's time for trips to the pool, weekends at the lake, volleyball camp, volleyball, Girl Scout camp, mall madness, Shy's birthday and a tentatively planned family vacation. I look back at the friends she's had since kindergarten, the new one's she made this year. The strides and bounds she made with her grades. She fabulous school pictures. I get kinda sad. I have always been told that once they start school the time just flies by. It has. I can remember her first day of preschool. I remember her excitement over learning to tie her shoes the summer before kindergarten. How much we have appreciated the teachers she's been blessed enough to have. How much she has matured and grown in the last year. It's over, a whole other year....gone with wind....I remember her first day of school this year. The fights over homework and spelling words. The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I've made for every field trip. The groundings as she tried to spread her wings, sometimes a little to far. The arguments over what she couldn't wear. The class projects we were up till midnight helping her get ready for. It's the last day.

She walked out of the house this morning armed with her usual last day supplies. A cheap disposable camera, so she can take pics of whatever and whoever she wants....scrap media for the summer. She also had a bottle of chocolate fudge in her hand. Her teacher is serving ice cream today and invited the kids to bring a topping. I can remember she learned she didn't like pizza day in the cafeteria. I can remember it's the first year she didn't have to be moved seats because she was constantly talking to her neighbor. She learned who Rosa Parks was. She learned what "Gay" means. She learned if you take off walking from a friends house after you've been told no, you will sit in your room and read for a month. She learned to like reading. She learned it's ok if mommy and Big Daddy fight sometimes....no one's gonna leave. She learned....so much.

I do get sentimental. Every last day brings her closer to the end of her school career. It brings her closer to the day when she'll leave and not come back for a long time....perhaps ever, other than for visits. I have watched the year in fast forward. I have watched her prove she can not only do well, but she can exceed expectations. I have watched her fall in "like" with 3 different boys this year and learn to deal when one of them "liked" a friend of hers. She had to deal with friends lying to and about her this year. I watched her handle these "friends" with grace, fairness, and forgiveness. Last year people started telling me how much her personality was coming out, how she seemed to be coming out of her shell and maturing. I'm ashamed to say I didn't notice it till it was pointed out. I see it now. I see her sense of style coming into being. I see her learn to combine her sense of style with what I am willing to allow. I've seen her and Big Daddy come to love each other over the course of the last year even more than before. I've seen her see her father for what he really is and while she didn't have the heart to tell him herself she did have the intelligence to know she had to tell us what was hurting and making her so angry.

My darling girl this is the last day of school. It's the 5th last day of school we've been through. This one seems somehow to be turning point. like your shaking off the last bit of down and growing into the feathers you will someday use to fly away with. Next year the school politics will be even more dramatic and dire. You will have perhaps just one or two "boyfriends" and they will be oh so serious. You will begin to choose friends who are more like you, you may even loose one's you have had up to this point. I am so proud of you. I'm proud of your strength, courage, fairness, forgiveness, beauty, intelligence. You make me proud to be blessed enough to call myself your mother. Have a wonderful last day, enjoy, their will be more to come and with them first days. I love you.