Yet another heartbreakingly glorious moment in motherhood

It took me a full 24hrs and a couple of stiff drinks to get to the point of blogging about this.

Saturday afternoon mini-me called me into the bathroom...nothing unusual believe me...I go in and she says to me "there's stuff in my underwear" I take a look and sure enough good ol' Aunt Flo has made her first appearance in my young princess's life.

Now some of you will take what I'm about to say as simply another weepy woman talking about her children and if you choose to think of it this way that is your prerogative, (however insensitive it may be) Some of you will read what I say here and perhaps tear a bit as you look at your own young - perhaps younger than my - princess. Either way this is what went through my mind.

It's over...
It's time to start the yelling
It's time to start the mood swings
It's time to start the cycle shifts
It's time to start the walking around town alone
It's time to start the going to the mall with friends
It's time to start the dating
It's time to start the shaving
It's time to start the "You as my mother know nothing"
It's time to start the "I hate you"
It's time to start the slamming doors
It's time to start the lying
It's time to start the sneaking out
It's time to start the "can I borrow the car"

Please don't misunderstand my young princess isn't old enough to really do any of these things yet...but as a mother my mind told me that after this landmark event it all just speeds by...she will be a teenager in the blink of an eye she will be gone from home in the time it takes to breath deep and feel.

I have known for years -as has anyone who has known me- I am over everything in parenting Over protective, over bearing, over attentive, over everything...that's what happens when you are not blessed with the ability to procreate to your hearts content. I take to many pictures, I watch more closely, I covet more strongly, I am more lenient - much to my own dismay - I am an enabler.

So this event marked yet another reason to ponder in deep thought and agonizing painful realizations and rationalizations necessary for my own minds self preservation.

So I cried and smiled and made this seemingly small life detail into a huge one. I am not yet ready for her to be a young lady...if only I could be stingy just a year or two more. No then I would only want more...My grandma told me about having children they would be the biggest heartache of my life..."they will give you more love, more joy, more reason to be a good human being...but they will be the biggest heartache of your life...no living creature will ever hurt you more with out really wanting or trying to...the simple act of sending a child off to school for the first time will become a soul scarring event." Grandma knew what she was talking about...this amazingly beautiful soul has torn my heart out since she took her first breath and didn't make a sound...I should have known then I was in over my head...

Some people believe women to be a weaker sex...I have no muscles at all lifting a gallon of milk strains my overly fat desperately lacking in muscle body. However my heart my soul my very inner being has been tortured battered beaten and betrayed by this stunningly beautiful little girl her entire life...I as do all mothers in my opinion have not only weathered and prevailed to continue on this path of motherhood I have done so with a smile and an immeasurable sense of joy and blessing. That is strength.

So like the first day of school the first sleepover the first school program. I will look on with pride I will be in awe at my daughters strength poise and class. I will wallow in the sadness of this time. I will revel in the joy. I will be a mother and feel 500 different things all kept quietly to myself...all kept at bay from overwhelming my inner being...all this while going about life in the usual manner. I am a mother...I am the mother of a young lady...growing into a woman.

A weekend at the lake...warning picture heavy blog!

BigDaddy's birthday was last Monday....the only thing he wanted was to go to the lake...now while I think April is a bit early in the season to be camping, BigDaddy's wish is my command. So we went to wally world and let BigDaddy go nuts buying camping and fishing supplies. By Friday when BigDaddy got off work early he was like a kid on Christmas morning...it almost killed him that he had to wait for mini-me to get out of school so we could leave. Conversation with BigDaddy
BigDaddy: "We should just go get her out of school a little bit early"
Me: "We don't have a good excuse to get her out of school early"
BigDaddy: "Yes we do, were going to the lake!"
Silly BigDaddy, he had to wait till after 3:30...you would have thought we were never going to leave the way he acted. it was really adorable how excited he was! We did leave and got to the lake about 5. To say we had an amazing weekend would be an understatement! Here are some pics and little stories to share.




Apparently I caught mini-me off guard with this photo, I love the look on her face! She's squinting out the sun...her skin is beautifully sun kissed! She looks like she's asking me a question!



This is BigDaddy, getting the fishing poles ready for fishing...J cheesing it up!



I thought the water was way to cold for swimming, however the girls didn't let that stop them from enjoying the lake!!



Kyler fishing...note the potato chips in his hand...the boy is never without food, I've always heard this about teenage boys...turns out it's true...it was so awesome to spend some time with him! Isn't he adorable!



B n BigDaddy fishing! They didn't catch anything all weekend...no one even had a bite! It was disappointing however even the lack of fish couldn't ruin our weekend!



J and B...they are so cute! I was uber glad they could come down for the weekend!



Me n K....this kid is adorable!!




Kodi...getting the stick...he thought the water was a bit cold so he didn't swim much, he did like to lay in the shallow end though.



Are these girls the coolest cutest Kansas lake babes ever or what!!





A couple of pics of my nasty mark left from my battle with the manhole, believe it or not I was totally sober...there was no alcohol this weekend...so I can't even call it a "drunk bump". It was just typical clumsy Monica! L thought this was hilarious when it happened...I can just imagine watching me fall on my butt was...I so wanted to laugh when it happened...unfortunately I could only cry...it hurt so bad..still does!


I love this pic of BigDaddy...mini-me took this one..I think...I love his goofy expression...he looks like that all the time at home! ;)


This is my new favorite pic of me and my Mr. Right! I love everything about this pic!



Me n Baby sista!!



Playing catch...it was so cool for mini-me to get some play time with the big kids...she played catch with all three of them!!


I forgot smore's stuff, thank goodness L remembered!! You can't tell it, but we were all really excited to make smore's and they were way yummy good!


This was our last day...everyone was packing up to go...B n L's Tent was right behind where were sitting it was already packed away! My poor mini-me was suffering from an upset tummy and had spent the last hour in the Tahoe...I made her get up and come sit for the picture...Like she always is, my girl was a trooper and even smiled for the pic...then went back to the Tahoe...she was fine after we got home. It was her first real big weekend lake trip...I think she was just "laked" out! I made a point to ask everyone if they had a good enough time to do it again...everyone said yes...so I'm sure there will be a ton more lake trips this summer...I just hope they all live up to the standards set by this one...it really had all the ingredients of a perfect weekend, fishing, swimming, fire, smore's, friends, family, dogs, kids, good food, a few sunburns, a few scrapes n bruises...I mean it was the perfect weekend! It was also a wonderful way to celebrate my Mr. Right's birthday!

A stolen Friday

Last Friday Shy was out of school for the Easter Holiday. BigDaddy got all the way to the job site and was then sent home due to rain so.... we stole a Friday!

BigDaddy spent a couple of hours in the garage working on my scraproom desk
Shy jumped on her trampoline trying to perfect a "flippie"
I cleaned up around the house....we stole a Friday

After we finished our own little projects we came
together for a game of horseshoes, won by BigDaddy...of course
We stole a Friday

A conversation between BigDaddy and Shy
BigDaddy (digging something up out of the back yard

Shy: What is that?
BigDaddy: It's a marble...a toy children would play with when they played outside all day
Shy: Can I have it?
BigDaddy: You can't have it, children who played with this played outside all day...you barely come outside for a couple of hours.
Shy: Yes I will
BigDaddy: You will play outside for a few hours?
Shy: Yes
BigDaddy: Okay, here you go

We stole a Friday


About a hour later Shy went in the house back to video games...BigDaddy and myself were still outside soaking up the beautiful day, so BigDaddy went inside and brought her back out...she stayed outside the rest of the afternoon and was happy about it! BigDaddy's influence is being felt, appreciated, and most certainly needed...all because...

We stole a Friday!

Spring Break 2010

I am finally getting around to blogging about our Spring Break!

It was a phenomenal trip! Everyone had a wonderful time, I just loved that it was so family friendly! My original plan was to go through the trip by each individual day, however now all the fun and laughs and learning about each other seem to flow together so effortlessly I don't remember what day everything happened...so here are a few of my favorite bits and pieces!

I slept almost the entire trip down...I believe I was awake for about an hour when we get to the Texas state line...little did I realize the long part of the trip was ahead. After a super long sleep I was ready so, though it was a long drive I was glad I was awake to see it! The Texas pride is a trip...I mean you can hardly find American flag (there are a lot of them) where you don't see a Texas flag just as large and beautiful!

So first story....We were an entire day early! I know how rude can people be! I neglected to call and tell G.G. when Chet decided to leave a day early hence getting there a day early. So when we got the e-mail from her saying why didn't you tell me you were coming a day early? I was needless to say freaking out! I told Chet see I've already upset her were going home turn around! I e-mailed Gigi back and told her we would just stay in a hotel for that night. The e-mail I was then sent was a definite...Get your butts here! So we headed of to Palestine lake...a day early!

After a delicious dinner at the Purple Pig...yes the Purple Pig...the food was amazing, we went back to the house and settled in for the night.

The rest of the week was a blur of laughing, talking, shopping, learning, eating, and just simple enjoyment of the people around us! Gigi, had an opportunity to really get to know each other, she really is a remarkable woman, and I look forward to many more talks and stories and toddies! And squirrels...big, mutiny planning, toddy drinking squirrels, they really are a bit of a hazard those little buggers!


Chet got plenty of time to spend with grandpa, as grandpa has taken up smoking cigars(much to G.G's dismay)...he spends a lot of time in the garage...him and Chet found little projects all week to amuse themselves! it was adorable!

One afternoon after Gigi, Shy and I had a full day of shopping and having a fabulous Chinese lunch when we got back to the house Shy seemed to be bored with Gigi and I as we chatted away and began to start dinner. Then Gigi suggested if Shy went and talked to grandpa he could find her a bike to ride. So she decided to head over to the garage and see the boys....a few minutes later she appeared in the window from the kitchen to be driving a small vehicle of some sort...it was confusing at first. After a trip to the bedroom to grab my camera, Gigi and I went outside and sure enough our little mini-me was driving the "tractor" it's actually just a riding lawnmower! Shy however didn't seem to car what it was called...she was having a blast! So much fun in fact that Gigi and I had time to run to the store...Chet wanted a cigar as well! I just have to say I found Papa and G.G. adorable both of them I just wanted to fold them up in my suitcase and bring them home with me!

After a wonderful visit with Papa and Gigi, we headed over to Lisa and James's house...I say head over it was actually quite the drive! We made it though and of course had a wonderful time! Lisa is absolutely adorable! She was also kind enough to take some family pics of us...they turned out amazing, of course, and I for one was so appreciative! We all went to the lake, and let the kids play in the sand, we all had dinner out together one night, We headed out to a state park one afternoon and then ended up in a little town that had a great archery and gun stock, so the boys looked around for awhile, and Lisa and Shy took a walk down the street taking pictures! These pics as well turned out beautiful! I stayed outside by the Tahoe, the baby was in the truck sleeping. It was wonderful to see everyone, and spend some time together!

This story for the trip home is a bit more harrowing, we left much later than we had intended. Getting our new tattoo's took way longer than we anticipated! Anyway it was raining when we got to the north side of Ft. Worth. I took over driving when we got into Almead Ok. I was just cruising along my only instructions being just stay on I-35 North, it will take you all the way through to Mulvane. So I'm driving, by the time we got to the north side of OK City, snow was coming down heavy. We drove by a piece of road that had two cars in the ditch on one side and a banged up car on the other, all with wreckers trying to get them out. Then we needed to stop for gas so we wouldn't have to stop again before home. The Shell station we tried to stop at was closed. Before we left the handy dandy not so bright girl at the bank suggested the best way to take a lot of cash on a trip was to use a prepaid visa gift card...hmmm she will be getting a piece of my mind when next I see her...anyway it turns out the only thing you can do with these things are make purchases...however you can't get cash at an atm and you can't use it for pay at the pump gas! Now keep in mind this is cash we have in the bank that we put on this card and can not get to! I was irate. Thank goodness we planned for a few small emergencies, and as this was the only one, we were fine. It was to say the least an annoyance. The rest of the trip home was slow, most of the time going only 30 or 40 mph, on the interstate. However as I said before we had a most amazing time, it is most certainly a trip we will be taking again in the near future!

Be back soon Be well!!

For My Girls!!

So Funny I had to share it! All original.




This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the viole nt urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X

Family fun night!

We had an awesome family fun night! It was such a beautiful night, and on Weds afternoon Shy came home with a note from the school about a family movie night in the high school auditorium...the idea of a cold slice of pizza overpriced bottled water, and a cheesy family movie with 75 or 80 other people, just didn't sound like a good way for all of us to enjoy a perfect long overdue family night. I told Shy..."If I can come up with something more fun than that for us to do will you not be upset about not going to this?" She agreed, so we let her vote and she chose what we did tonight! We ate at this amazing Mongolian BBQ place...Then headed over to All Star Sports to play in the Arcade and Play some mini golf! We finished the evening off with a quick drive thru to Dairy Queen, to grab an ice cream cone! I've set up a slide and put some new pics on flickr! I choose a greenday song because Shy is really into greenday right now!

Finally....the rest of the story!

I have been eagerly awaiting the posting of this blog for literally months now. Some of you have e-mailed or facebooked me wondering what the deal is with Mr. Right adopting mini-me, so here goes the whole lengthy story. For those of you that have heard it all you may just want to skip this blog entry!

So it all started a in early October....it may have been September, I didn't write down the dates of such events, and I'm horrible with time, so if the time's don't match up please forgive me. Any way sometime in Sept. or Oct. mini-me came home from her....hmmm we'll call him "Bozo" so she came home from Bozo's very upset. She was crying and I was irate....this was not the first time this had happened....as the universe would have it, this would be the Last time this happened. After calming her down and alerting Mr. Right we had a problem we sat and talked with her. She was not immediately forthcoming, she was scared Bozo would get in trouble if she told what had happened, so when the story came out this is what happened. Mini-me went to Bozo's house for the evening as usual she hadn't been staying the night with him during the week for quite awhile due to a new job he had, she was just going there after school and then coming home after dinner. Apparently this particular evening Bozo decided to make mini-me sit by herself at the kitchen table to eat her dinner while the rest of his "new family" and himself all ate in the living room together. Mini-me was mortified. Any one who knows her knows she is a very sensitive little person, therefore it reason's this would upset her.

As we were talking to her she used "feeling" words I had never heard her use. I began to wonder where she had picked them up. She said things like, I feel like I don't belong there, like I'm not wanted, like I'm in the way, like I'm not part of the family. I being the mom I am was infuriated, thanks to my amazing Mr. Right however, I did not have the explosive blowout with Bozo I am famous for. We called him and asked him to stop by after we put mini-me to bed. He said she was doing her homework at the table so he just told her to stay there and eat, he did not mean to make her feel "left out". I explained that he had made her feel that way, he then said perhaps she shouldn't come to his house in the evenings anymore. We agreed. Fast forward a couple of weeks to Halloween, it was Bozo's year to take her around for the annual "candy gathering" Mr. Right and I got her all ready make-up and all (She was Cleopatra) and had her ready to go when Bozo got here. We decided since they would be gone for awhile we would go have some dinner and then meet them back at the house. I texted Bozo and let him know where we were eating in case he needed to get a hold of us for some reason, thinking to myself the whole time, they won't be back until after dark. After all there is the walking to all the businesses downtown and then the knocking on doors after. So Mr. Right and I headed to dinner. No less than 30mins after we had watched Bozo and mini-me walk off towards downtown did he show up at the restaurant we were having dinner at. He dropped of mini-me and drove off....no reason why, no asking if he could take her around to other houses....he didn't even wait to make sure she found us in the restaurant. Again I was infuriated, here was the opportunity to spend some time with his child alone, just the two of them to catch up and mend some fences. Yet in less than an hour he had done what he says was his "fatherly duty" and was off to his "new family". Mini-me was again very upset...she said she had asked him to take her to some houses and to the park, all he said was "ask your mom to take you". Mr. Right and I decided it was more important for us to make sure our mini-me had a wonderful night than to fight about the pathetic choices Bozo made. So we took our girl around to some houses and to the park. In the park she found some friends to run around with while we were, talking with some friends of ours, after all small town Halloween night you tend to run into a lot of people you know and haven't seen in awhile. So when the night was over and mini-me had been properly de-cleopatraed...I know it's not a word...but it's the action! lol We all settled down and watched a movie till she fell asleep and then Mr. Right and I had a long talk, we decided I could no longer try to tell Bozo how to be a father, I had been giving him clues, and more than once Mr. Right and I had given him the tools to attempt to be a better father, obviously all to no avail. So we agreed I wouldn't even talk to him about it.

I believe it was about two weeks later when the letter arrived. There was a knock on the door, I answered it, it was the mail person, I thought it was one of my scrap winnings packages...alas that would have been a pleasant experience. No this was a certified letter, from Bozo saying simply "I have talked to a lawyer who says to give up all my rights as a father you have to file adoption papers and I will sign them. Do not call or text me, I will not answer." Needless to say I was in shock. My first thought was how exactly does someone call themselves a father for 10 yrs and then wake up one day and decide they don't want to be one anymore? How does one just walk away from a child as if it's a dog they are giving away? I won't get into what I was feeling or the words I was yelling as I walked around the house trying to find something to distract my mind with. Later that evening I showed the letter to Mr. Right and we got a chance to discuss it after mini-me went to bed. It was decided at that point I would call our lawyer and get his advice. I did so the next day...of course it was a few days before he got back to me. Once he did he explained we basically had two choices, Mr. Right could adopt her, or I could go to court argue and slam Bozo with a huge child support payment every month...each choice had it's own pros and con's...after all I didn't know if Mr. Right wanted to adopt mini-me...we had never discussed it, he was as much a dad as he could be he knew what she was doing in school knew her teacher's knew her friends paid for her and carried insurance on her for the last two years...as far as the definition of dad he fit it so much more than Bozo did, but adoption is a whole different ball game. On the other hand if Bozo had to pay child support mini-me would be forced to continue seeing him and being at his house. Which she had expressed during the talk about the dinner incident she no longer wanted to do.

Now we all know I live and breath for my family, my mini-me is my breath of life and my Mr. Right is my heart, so I am slightly ashamed to admit, I was a bit scared to talk to him that evening about what the lawyer had said. I won't go into detail here about our conversation, I will say we decided it was ultimately mini-me's choice. I am not a fan of leaving huge life altering decisions to young children, however this was a situation where I just could not in good conscience make this choice with out knowing how she felt. So we showed her the letter, and told her what it meant and explained to her the choices and then told her she didn't have to choose what to do now she could think about it for awhile, we explained once she made the choice she couldn't change her mind. We explained the details of what each choice would mean in the long run and immediately. She took no time at all and through her tear stained face and red puffy eyes said clearly "I want BigDaddy to adopt me" I didn't want to get to excited after all when she looked at Mr. Right I knew he could always say no. Of course that was not his response, his response was something like "I would love to."

It took a lot longer to get all the paperwork and things together than we had hoped. We were hoping to have it all done in court before the first of the year. However as I said it took a bit longer. There were many conversations and questions from mini-me in the weeks preceding the proceedings, she had questions about Bozo, and BigDaddy. She was always very excited that her name would be changed and her name would match ours. The closer the actual date got, the more nervous I got, the more excited she became...needless to say it did this mother's heart good to know she was not only wanting this change, but that she was eager for it. She began to write her "new" last name on her school papers in Jan. It was adorable when I asked her why she was writing it she said "she was practicing and getting everyone else used to it." The weekend before we went to court she had a sleepover. I had purchased a few different iron-on's and a t-shirt for each girl so they could make their own shirts...mini-me made the cutest shirt just a Celtic cross on the front and on the back "Miss Turner" it really made me smile...and I dare say it made Mr. Right pretty happy as well.

Finally it was the big day! We got up early and got ready we went to Wellington and had breakfast...which was really good though I don't know if I tasted much of it. Then off to the courthouse to do the deed. We went into the courtroom and I sat on the first bench behind the lawyers tables. Mini-me and Mr. Right and the lawyer sat at the tables, the judge spoke to mini-me asked her what grade she was in and if she was excited, she spoke to him though it was at a bit lower volume level than normal. Mr. Right was asked to take the stand and about 5 mins later the judge and the court reporter were saying congratulations! I would have cried, but the looks on Mr. Right and mini-me's face was of elation and all I could feel was happy...I took a couple of photo's of the two of them in the hallway while we were waiting for copies of the decree.

Later that night after Mr. Right was unexpectedly called away to help a friend in need. I was putting mini-me to bed, she said "Mom I'm really tired tonight" I replied "I bet you are it's not everyday a girl gets a dad" She smiled really big and said "I got the best dad to" fighting back a tear and a heart so full it had to weigh a thousand pounds I said "Yes you did princess, yes you did" then I told her again I love you night night, walked into the hall closing the door behind me and taking a deep breath....all the feelings I had been feeling over everything in last few months blew away with that breath...a sense of peace and calm came over me I sent a huge thank you out to the universe.

So this is how it all happened, this is how mini-me became a Turner. This is how our once blended family became just a family. This is how a mother got just for a second the luxury of knowing her child was okay. This is how a man got a second chance at being a father. This is how the Turner family became one. This is just one more chapter in what I'm sure will be the great American novel that is our life...Our Family!

I just want to end this blog by saying some of our friends and family knew all along what was going on. Some of them know more of the horrible way mini-me was treated by Bozo, please don't misunderstand I am not letting any of it slide by...I just chose to "focus on the joy of the situation". To those friends and family I must send out a huge thank you! We can never tell you all how much your support and love and kindness has meant to us! We love all of you!

Until next time Be well!