Another sign of maturity perhaps?

I am a woman, and therefor I lie, or have lied or will lie, or do lie, no matter how you look at it women are some of the best liars in the world. We are taught very young, and early on that when used correctly its a gift maybe even in some cases a blessing. Although I readily admit to being an accomplished liar, I have rarely let a chance escape me to express my feelings when I feel i've been wronged. Yet I find thats just what I did recently. An old friend of mine has hurt me repeatedly recently, so much so I can't imagine they have no idea they've done it. I'm sure the circumstances being what they are they have to know. No one is that daft. Surely. Anyway I recently was given the perfect....nay the pristine opening to express my feelings, I could have let it all fly like I always have. They would have been hurt, and I would have felt somewhat vindicated, but definately better for having said my peace. I can think of a hundred different times in the last 20 some yrs when these opportunities arose that I didn't hesitate to......make them aware of the wrong they had done me. I found however that when the moment arose the need for peace overwhelmed the need for vindication. I know its all still in there and that eventually I'll have to deal with, I'd love to be able to say it doesn't hurt anymore or giving the moment away has somehow healed the wounds, but I can't. It is still there the pain, dissapointment, and feeling of lonelyness, but I can say I feel slightly not much mind you, but slightly more mature. Is it a sign of maturity? Is being able to swallow hurt and not confront those who have hurt you when given the chance, maturity? Or am I mistaking maturity for ease? It was easier to say "theres nothing wrong", it was easier to pretend to be to busy to talk. Ive had many moments in my life when someone hurt me and the opportunity to express how they made me feel never came along. I was'nt faced with the need to decide to, shut up about it. My mother, my biological father, my stepfather, my ex-husband. These people will live the rest of their lives never knowing......or truly understanding what scars they have left behind. The difference this time seems overwhelmingly obvious to me I have to love this person. I have to be with them and know them. The choice of just walking away and "not dealing" isn't there. I wonder if I'm cut out for maturity. I wonder if after all my striving and believing that im on my way i'm just not. If maturity comes with the price of laying down and letting people hurt you and never telling them they did....I gotta think twice about encouraging my daughter to be mature. For the last eight yrs. I've been teaching her the opposite. "When someone hurts you" I tell her, "you tell them, you tell them how they hurt and how it made you feel. Then you give the chance to make it better, if they don't you leave them behind. Your life" I tell her "is too important and special to be wasted on people who will hurt you without caring". I also tell her shes "gonna get hurt and most of the time by someone she loves" as well as, most of the time they don't mean to do it, and when you tell them what they have done and how it made you feel they will express hurt themselves, and shame, and remorse. I'm writing this knowing full well I haven't taken my own advice. I let this person hurt me...... no I didn't let them hurt me, but I did let them get away with it. That is ironically enough who I always said I'd never be. Is this a sign of maturity? Or is this more likely a sign that after 30yrs I've finally run out of fight, a sign perhaps that my spirit has finally been broken, a sign that I'm willing to accept being hurt numorous times and say or do nothing about it as long as it pleases the majority. My mother always wanted a pleasing child.....I wonder if she would be proud of me now. I wonder because I know if it were my daughter saying and doing the things I have I'd shake her and tell her I taught her better than that. Knowing all the while that she learned this behavior from me.....Another sign of maturity perhaps?