Allow me to be the Bride!

We booked the Honeymoon suite! I guess if nothing else turns out we'll at least have a room to hang out in. I was under the impression that it was my job as the bride to stress, about whatever I felt needed to be stressed out about. Their are people around me who would have me think otherwise. Their has been a lot going on not just with our wedding but life in general. Given the circumstances as they are I feel I should be allowed to be as stressed or "dramatic" as I choose to be. After all I haven't been a "bridezilla" through the whole process I only have about a month left. Its not that I want to be overly dramatic, and stressed it's just that it's crunch time and I feel if I haven't let it get to me till now (actually I just haven't been showing it getting to me) I should be allowed to let some of those feeling out now. My fiancee and I have done everything for this wedding by ourselves, and I feel that has made us closer. I don't think that gives anyone who jumps in during the last min. of the game the right to tell me I'm being overly dramatic. There have been decisions made and disappointments faced by just the two of us. Lately some have acted as if I couldn't have done this without them, or that they had done it all. When the truth is no one has, we have made this wedding what it is thus far by ourselves. I'm fine with that I just don't think because someone is now making themselves use full or trying to be useful that they have the right to complain about my attitude. I am the bride! Not a typical one I'll agree but a bride none the less and if I want to feel that the whole process is falling apart at the seems, that is my right. If I want to say out loud that I feel it's all just been a shitty process and nothing seems to be working that's my right. I also feel if they don't want to hear about it or if they feel they have heard it enough then they don't have to participate. I do want my wedding to be perfect. I do want the ceremony to be beautiful. I do want the honeymoon to be romantic. I want everything every other bride wants. I don't feel it should matter that this is mine and his second marriage. I don't feel anyone should have to lie about how they feel about it either. If they are not in support I only wish they would admit that and remove themselves from the process. I am no less of a bride than anyone else. I would love for things to go smoothly and for everything to be like a fairytale, but this is reality, and things get messy and stressful, and screwed up. I just want to be allowed to stress over them to be disappointed when they don't work out and to have the right to express that. I just want to be the bride, all the craziness and drama and stress that goes with it.