Yet another heartbreakingly glorious moment in motherhood

It took me a full 24hrs and a couple of stiff drinks to get to the point of blogging about this.

Saturday afternoon mini-me called me into the bathroom...nothing unusual believe me...I go in and she says to me "there's stuff in my underwear" I take a look and sure enough good ol' Aunt Flo has made her first appearance in my young princess's life.

Now some of you will take what I'm about to say as simply another weepy woman talking about her children and if you choose to think of it this way that is your prerogative, (however insensitive it may be) Some of you will read what I say here and perhaps tear a bit as you look at your own young - perhaps younger than my - princess. Either way this is what went through my mind.

It's over...
It's time to start the yelling
It's time to start the mood swings
It's time to start the cycle shifts
It's time to start the walking around town alone
It's time to start the going to the mall with friends
It's time to start the dating
It's time to start the shaving
It's time to start the "You as my mother know nothing"
It's time to start the "I hate you"
It's time to start the slamming doors
It's time to start the lying
It's time to start the sneaking out
It's time to start the "can I borrow the car"

Please don't misunderstand my young princess isn't old enough to really do any of these things yet...but as a mother my mind told me that after this landmark event it all just speeds by...she will be a teenager in the blink of an eye she will be gone from home in the time it takes to breath deep and feel.

I have known for years -as has anyone who has known me- I am over everything in parenting Over protective, over bearing, over attentive, over everything...that's what happens when you are not blessed with the ability to procreate to your hearts content. I take to many pictures, I watch more closely, I covet more strongly, I am more lenient - much to my own dismay - I am an enabler.

So this event marked yet another reason to ponder in deep thought and agonizing painful realizations and rationalizations necessary for my own minds self preservation.

So I cried and smiled and made this seemingly small life detail into a huge one. I am not yet ready for her to be a young lady...if only I could be stingy just a year or two more. No then I would only want more...My grandma told me about having children they would be the biggest heartache of my life..."they will give you more love, more joy, more reason to be a good human being...but they will be the biggest heartache of your life...no living creature will ever hurt you more with out really wanting or trying to...the simple act of sending a child off to school for the first time will become a soul scarring event." Grandma knew what she was talking about...this amazingly beautiful soul has torn my heart out since she took her first breath and didn't make a sound...I should have known then I was in over my head...

Some people believe women to be a weaker sex...I have no muscles at all lifting a gallon of milk strains my overly fat desperately lacking in muscle body. However my heart my soul my very inner being has been tortured battered beaten and betrayed by this stunningly beautiful little girl her entire life...I as do all mothers in my opinion have not only weathered and prevailed to continue on this path of motherhood I have done so with a smile and an immeasurable sense of joy and blessing. That is strength.

So like the first day of school the first sleepover the first school program. I will look on with pride I will be in awe at my daughters strength poise and class. I will wallow in the sadness of this time. I will revel in the joy. I will be a mother and feel 500 different things all kept quietly to myself...all kept at bay from overwhelming my inner being...all this while going about life in the usual manner. I am a mother...I am the mother of a young lady...growing into a woman.

A weekend at the lake...warning picture heavy blog!

BigDaddy's birthday was last Monday....the only thing he wanted was to go to the lake...now while I think April is a bit early in the season to be camping, BigDaddy's wish is my command. So we went to wally world and let BigDaddy go nuts buying camping and fishing supplies. By Friday when BigDaddy got off work early he was like a kid on Christmas morning...it almost killed him that he had to wait for mini-me to get out of school so we could leave. Conversation with BigDaddy
BigDaddy: "We should just go get her out of school a little bit early"
Me: "We don't have a good excuse to get her out of school early"
BigDaddy: "Yes we do, were going to the lake!"
Silly BigDaddy, he had to wait till after 3:30...you would have thought we were never going to leave the way he acted. it was really adorable how excited he was! We did leave and got to the lake about 5. To say we had an amazing weekend would be an understatement! Here are some pics and little stories to share.




Apparently I caught mini-me off guard with this photo, I love the look on her face! She's squinting out the sun...her skin is beautifully sun kissed! She looks like she's asking me a question!



This is BigDaddy, getting the fishing poles ready for fishing...J cheesing it up!



I thought the water was way to cold for swimming, however the girls didn't let that stop them from enjoying the lake!!



Kyler fishing...note the potato chips in his hand...the boy is never without food, I've always heard this about teenage boys...turns out it's true...it was so awesome to spend some time with him! Isn't he adorable!



B n BigDaddy fishing! They didn't catch anything all weekend...no one even had a bite! It was disappointing however even the lack of fish couldn't ruin our weekend!



J and B...they are so cute! I was uber glad they could come down for the weekend!



Me n K....this kid is adorable!!




Kodi...getting the stick...he thought the water was a bit cold so he didn't swim much, he did like to lay in the shallow end though.



Are these girls the coolest cutest Kansas lake babes ever or what!!





A couple of pics of my nasty mark left from my battle with the manhole, believe it or not I was totally sober...there was no alcohol this weekend...so I can't even call it a "drunk bump". It was just typical clumsy Monica! L thought this was hilarious when it happened...I can just imagine watching me fall on my butt was...I so wanted to laugh when it happened...unfortunately I could only cry...it hurt so bad..still does!


I love this pic of BigDaddy...mini-me took this one..I think...I love his goofy expression...he looks like that all the time at home! ;)


This is my new favorite pic of me and my Mr. Right! I love everything about this pic!



Me n Baby sista!!



Playing catch...it was so cool for mini-me to get some play time with the big kids...she played catch with all three of them!!


I forgot smore's stuff, thank goodness L remembered!! You can't tell it, but we were all really excited to make smore's and they were way yummy good!


This was our last day...everyone was packing up to go...B n L's Tent was right behind where were sitting it was already packed away! My poor mini-me was suffering from an upset tummy and had spent the last hour in the Tahoe...I made her get up and come sit for the picture...Like she always is, my girl was a trooper and even smiled for the pic...then went back to the Tahoe...she was fine after we got home. It was her first real big weekend lake trip...I think she was just "laked" out! I made a point to ask everyone if they had a good enough time to do it again...everyone said yes...so I'm sure there will be a ton more lake trips this summer...I just hope they all live up to the standards set by this one...it really had all the ingredients of a perfect weekend, fishing, swimming, fire, smore's, friends, family, dogs, kids, good food, a few sunburns, a few scrapes n bruises...I mean it was the perfect weekend! It was also a wonderful way to celebrate my Mr. Right's birthday!

A stolen Friday

Last Friday Shy was out of school for the Easter Holiday. BigDaddy got all the way to the job site and was then sent home due to rain so.... we stole a Friday!

BigDaddy spent a couple of hours in the garage working on my scraproom desk
Shy jumped on her trampoline trying to perfect a "flippie"
I cleaned up around the house....we stole a Friday

After we finished our own little projects we came
together for a game of horseshoes, won by BigDaddy...of course
We stole a Friday

A conversation between BigDaddy and Shy
BigDaddy (digging something up out of the back yard

Shy: What is that?
BigDaddy: It's a marble...a toy children would play with when they played outside all day
Shy: Can I have it?
BigDaddy: You can't have it, children who played with this played outside all day...you barely come outside for a couple of hours.
Shy: Yes I will
BigDaddy: You will play outside for a few hours?
Shy: Yes
BigDaddy: Okay, here you go

We stole a Friday


About a hour later Shy went in the house back to video games...BigDaddy and myself were still outside soaking up the beautiful day, so BigDaddy went inside and brought her back out...she stayed outside the rest of the afternoon and was happy about it! BigDaddy's influence is being felt, appreciated, and most certainly needed...all because...

We stole a Friday!