Journey through hell.

It was to dark to really see anything...I could hear everything.
I heard the door at the other end of the brand new fancy double wide mobile home. I could tell when the socked feet left the carpeted living area and stepped onto the cheap linoleum floor of the kitchen...the sound of the refrigerator door opening...this was no doubt the excuse for leaving the confines of the bedroom at the end of the long mobile home. Then the refrigerator door closes. The steps come closer to the door at the end of the room where I lie and she lies in the bed across the room. I can see the light break with a large block of black space...the door opens...then the figure appears.

It moves to the bed across the room...I can hear her rhythmic breathing, she's sleeping. I move and make a sound this alerts the figure and it moves toward me. I pretend to be asleep and roll over...it sits on the bed the weight pulls my body toward it. I feel the figure touch my head...my hair...my face...my neck. I feel the covers move slide down my body...the cool of the air outside of the blankets washes over me like cascading water, I shiver. As the figure begins to pull my legs and body into the position most accessible for his ultimate goal my mind begins to fade...my conscious mind leaves all control to my sub-conscious and I am transported to a place that exists only in my mind.

There is a beautiful rich green pasture. The grass is so thick and soft the ground is cool under my bare feet, but the sun shinning down on me is warm like a blanket so worn and familiar there are beautiful while and yellow wild flowers scattered about, butterflies float and play on the breeze and just over the little hill is a sapphire blue spring. Large river rocks sprinkle the bottom of the bubbling brook, the water is cold and crisp, it feels like silk as it runs over my hands and feet. The air is clean and delicious, it has a sweet light delicate taste. I lie in the soft cool grass and squint my eyes as I face the warmth of the sun while my feet dangle in the cool musical sounds of the clear spring. I am happy, safe, warm, relaxed....this is my place the place no one can hurt me, the place where I am alone all alone just me...I'm so complete, so content I breath deep and revel in the sheer joy and gentleness of this place.

The figure gets heavy and I can suddenly feel the hot, sticky breath of it I am instantly in my own body again...I came back to soon...it seems to take longer than before, the pain shoots through my legs, hips, stomach. Nothing hurts as much as the inside of my most delicate and private places. I squeeze my eyes shut hard...the pain is coming more intense and more often now...then in an instant my eyes see white as the pain shoots through my entire body. I become unable to breath, there is so much weight I not strong enough to pull air into my chest it wont fill with air. then as I struggle to inhale the figure lifts itself from me and air feels my lungs with such quick sharpness I almost cough, I quiet myself quickly...a cough would only induce the terrifying threats of death, or tortour. The figure whispers ugly praises in my ear and kisses my cheek then I feel the blankets pull over my body...I hear the feet move across the room...the door opens...the door closes...the figure is gone.

I'm left with the wet sticky feel between my legs and the pain that has centered around my pelvic area. I roll over and slowly bring my knees to my chest...I don't cry anymore...I haven't done that in years. As the pain radiates through my limbs and abdomen I rock slowly and remind myself of the feel of the sun and the sound of the brook...the color of the wildflowers and the taste of the air. I drift off to sleep...I can sleep now...the figure won't be back until tomorrow night. My journey through hell is complete for today.