A reminder!

I have always had the bad habit of stashing little must-keeps in my drawers....usually my unmentionables drawer....It's a habit I must now let go of as I will no longer have a dresser to myself and am sharing with Chet....So today while I was emptying what was my dresser to hang up everything that could be I found so many little things that had been stashed away for quite awhile....I have moved this dresser twice and neither time did I clean it out just moved it with drawers and all...I found little pencil drawings from shy when she was little...I found my Cher ticket stub...I found letter's from my sister....and a small spiral notebook...I didn't recognize it at first, but as I got to looking at it I realized, or remembered it was the notebook Chet was writing in when our relationship first began...I make no denial about the fact that ours was not a fairy tale begining...however...no matter the details of the start of our love affair....to read it from his point of view after all this time...made my heart pitter....I was transported back to that time...it was chaotic...and somehow...with all the madness....there was an overwhelming sense of love and joy between us....I would never have guessed where we are now if I had been asked then to make a prediction...but we have been so blessed....truly with the love we have and share...with the love we have as a family unit...in every shape of our lives we have always been taken care of my an unseen force that has always been at bat for us....this force has always made what we needed and wanted possible and has always kept a protective hand on us....guiding us in the direction we need to go to complete our goals and dreams....I only hope we do this force justice in return and continuously send love joy and positivity back into the universe....I hope this force stays with us for the rest of our lives...maybe not always to bat or protect....hopefully sometimes just to watch and enjoy....I hope we never take for granted the blessings we have been given or where we have come from....I hope the love that brought us to where we are is always there and stronger with each day....this I hope for our family.

To self-doubt or not to self-doubt.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you think your all for something you give the go ahead, you think you have thought of all the pro's and con's and you are game for the outcome....but self doubt is just wearing on you....like you make yourself paraoid....to the point of possible talking yourself out of the situation altogether. I think I may be one of my own worst enemies....I internalize to the point that I could rationalize almost anything to myself....sometimes however it turns out my self doubt was just what I needed and my constant self-nit picking was just what I needed to make what ended up being the right choice or decision all along.....other things I have experienced....well I didn't experience them, I talked myself out of them and I still to this day don't know how it would have turned out.


Though self doubt has with out a doubt it's place and necessity....Is being my own worst critic, a self protectiveness or a way for me to always have an excuse to not try something I can't always control?

Thank you is not enough.

Well we have finally moved into the new house....almost....we still have a few things to get moved, but for the most part we are here....to say this experience has been a thrilling blessing is an understatement....with the largest of the blessings coming from those we are buying the house from.....T and J have done nothing short of handed us a personal miracle...they have been more than just kind they have been....amazingly wonderful....they have personally seen to it that we could make this little (and to some unimportant) dream come true. To simply say to them thank you does not seem like enough....I hope they know the good and gracious things they have done as of late are so much more appreciated than they will likely ever know....and the positive karma will I hope enrich their lives as it has ours. I hope for them always to feel as blessed and fortunate as we do....Thank you....for so many things....none of which are small or trivial....Thank you....though maybe not enough...Thank you!