Goodbye 2008....Hello 2009

So today is the last day of 2009, and I (which is typical of me) am looking back over the year. There have been massive disappointments, and huge glorious, wonderful moments. Here are some of the best and worst!

The best!!
We got married
We had a beautiful wedding
We had wonderful friends and family attend our wedding
We went on an amazing honeymoon
I made existing friendships stronger
I forged new friendships
I discovered friends I didn't know I had
We went on some great Girl Scout trips
I fell even more in love with my husband
I watched in awe as my daughter grew another year
Our girl overcame some major troubles in school
I forgave some
I apologized when I needed to (sometimes)
I listened more
I enjoyed more
I breathed deep
I rediscovered my spirituality
I (tried) to stress less
We had a beautiful Christmas


The Worst!!
I lost great friendships
The B family chose to end their relationship with our family
T (unsuccessfully) tried to ruin our wedding
Our girl had some major troubles in school
I was laid off
The car died
There were times when money was tight
There were times when money was non-existent
The unemployment office jerked me around
We got taken by people we thought were friends


So as you can all see the good definitely outweighed the bad. As a new year begins I hope for my own family as well as everyone else's a wonderful year full of more "bests" than "worsts". I wish happiness and joy and love and peace for all of our friends, and our enemies. Be well everyone. Blessed Be!!

Whew!!

So I haven't blogged in awhile....I hate to blog when I'm in a negative place I feel like people will get the idea I'm only ever negative....that is not the case....but sometimes it's just a bit difficult to be all sunny and daisy's.....especially when it seems the whole world is caving in. Anywho ok just to catch everyone up the kia broke down and that sucked really bad because it left us with no vehicle, and Chet having no way to get to work.....so he bought an old car from a buddy of his and then.....believe it or not...... it broke down.....so now we were out even more money and the car lot wanted $4000.00 to fix the kia.....I don't think I need to explain the impossibility of that happening.....then as I was crying hysterically and so sure we were done for.....a Christmas miracle, or a guardian angel.....which ever you prefer.....myself I like to think of it as some really good friends coming to the rescue.....we were able to get another vehicle and a decent one....Thank you again.....Chet and I both being orphan's we rarely if ever have anyone to save us. I mean there are those kind of people....you know the type anytime they run a little short at the end of the month....or they want something they just can't afford they run to family and someone is there to bail them out....Chet and I don't have that luxury....we have friends....I've never had much luck with family so even family that is technically family, I prefer to call friends.....It has become my opinion that extended family doesn't mean so much to me.....they have never done me any good.....but friends....like the one's who came to our rescue recently....they could be family, but I would consider that an insult to them.....they treated us better than family ever has and they were amazing about it....I just have to send a huge hug and kiss and yet one more thank you out to our "friends" you all are more wonderful than any family could ever be!! So then in the midst of all this Christmas!! Agggghhhhh....I ask you could a girl get a brake.....anyway... we made it work and it was wonderful....I was worried for quite a while there but somehow the universe made it happen....It wasn't the largest Christmas by any means, but I think that is the case with alot of family's this year....my adorable husband managed to not guess any of his gifts this year....(we didn't let him near any of the boxes till he opened them he he he he).....he did however manage to finish all of his new games in a weekend....butt head....:) anyway shy got everything she asked for.....literally everything....not all from us but, between the 6 Christmas's she had this year she got it all....I am learning not to buy as much for her or to take on all the responsibilities of making all her Christmas wishes come true....I got more than I could've hoped for I got the printer I had been admiring, and as soon as I learn how to work it I just know I'll love it ha ha ha.....anyway It's been a whirlwind of a couple of weeks and now we get to see how we stand up after the storm.....I know as long as we have amazing and loving friends, and we have the 3 of us together we will weather anything....the trick is how to do it and still look fresh and amazing....but I know some good make-up tricks and I have an arsenal of great hair products so we should be fine....so I'm going back to it now refreshed and with renewed faith in my fellow man and the love of friends and our small family!! I hope with all my heart everyone we love and treasure had a wonderful holiday as well!!

Some things they never told me....

No one ever told me my face, ass, and boobs would fall
they never told me a woman may fall in love numerous times in her life
or that heartache could physically hurt
it was never explained to me that people in the world would be out to just hurt
or that there would be times I would want a break from my child....
...only to look back one day and wonder with heartache where the time had gone
no one told me something as simple as giving birth should not be taken for granted
they never told me you can't control who you love...
...you can only control how you love them
it was never explained to me that it's easier to be let down...
...if your expectations are kept low
no one ever said you'll wake up one day and you will be your mother
or that no matter how hard you try you will never be "cool" in your child's eyes
they never told me there would come a day when you would just be "fat"...
...not chunky or flabby just "fat"
they never told me boredom couldn't actually kill...
...it really just delays death
it was never explained to me that over time you actually forget things...
...things you would rather remember
or that the crazy irresponsible time in your life would one day be the best times
no one said the friends you thought were just "nice" to have around would be the ones you missed most of all....
...or that the ones you were most passionate about would barely remain in your mind
no one told me sex gets better as you mature...
...or that good sex would becomes more important as you mature
no one said disappointing someone you love is just as painful for you as them
they never told me that a beautiful perfection of womanhood at 16...
....would become an average looking woman of 30
they never said no matter how hard you try you never forget your childhood...
....even if you want to
is was never explained to me that losing someone who has known you your whole life...
...would hurt like hell
they never told me how important knowing someone at 30 who knew you at 5 would be
or that there comes a day in every woman's life when she will come to understand her mother...
...and the choices her mother made
no one that passion in a woman's life is worth it's weight in gold...
....or if you've never had it you will always want for it


....Oh well....I probably wouldn't have listened if they had told me!

Positive things to come.....hopefully!!

I am truly feeling a wind of change these days....and I dare say I think it's bringing all good things with it! This feeling started on Tue, this last week....I got a call out of the blue, from the dealership I bought my car from....the message they left on my voicemail said, they had a customer looking for an older version of my car and if I would be willing to trade it in they would love to get me an upgrade....now I'm pretty wise to car salesmen....don't get me wrong I understand they are just doing their job and they deserve a little credit for that....but really, they are very much like piranha's and therefore I take a very no nonsense stand with them.....anyway long story short they wanted me to trade in for a new version of my car a very new version....it had 8 miles on it that's right 8.....I've never had that new of a car in all my life....but something didn't smell right to me....my intuition kept telling me it just wasn't right....I kept having the feeling of wait....wait....then this house deal just fell from the sky....and it seemed that for once I had actually done the right thing at the right time.....you see I am the type of person that will go against my gut, and then realize, after it's all said and done my gut was right.....weather it be about people or just things happening.....this time I just couldn't get past it as if my inner being was saying...."whoa...not this time girly....your not screwing us this time"......now don't misunderstand nothing is in stone and nothing has even been verbally agreed on, but I'm am seeing it all happening....I am seeing myself in this house....having dinner, doing dishes, vacuuming the floor, doing laundry, sleeping.....I really think this was what my inner being was preparing me for....I can't even express the excitement I am feeling about the situation....I am trying very hard not to let myself get excited, lest something should happen and it not work out, but I can't seem to stop my mind from racing and....visualizing....I truly with all my might hope against all hope this is our chance.....this house....I have always thought has such a warm and "homey" feel....as if the positive energy and love were part of the building process....it's a small house....but were a small family....and as we all know....we aren't growing any more human beings....it has character.....and personality.....and it's beautiful.....it reminds me of a cute little cottage in the woods that you would stumble upon on accident and just move into....I'm kinda really hoping they leave the porch swing....it's just so perfect....and it has the most beautiful willow tree in the front yard....imagine a willow tree....how....well... perfect!....it's like I drew it and the universe just made it be.....don't get me wrong....I'm totally romanticizing it....but I've known this house for a few years and have always said two things about it....1 I am amazed at the fact they raised 3 kids in such a small house, and 2 it's one of the warmest, and most home feeling houses I've ever had the pleasure to step into....the idea that we could actually call this place home.....I can't even put those feelings into words.....I must think and believe positive things....this is our house this house is the reason why none of the other housing possibilities have worked out....we were waiting for this opportunity.....and now....it's here! This is the house we will raise our girl in....I can see pictures being taken in front of the fire place....her prom date and dress....her in her cap and gown....sitting with my husband on the porch swing out front on warm summer nights listening to the train....opening Christmas presents on the floor in front of the fireplace....It's just scary how perfect it would all be....I'm sending my Christmas wish out into the universe....I want this house!